The Disconnect and Suicide

The thoughts I have that disconnect from life are thinking about life itself

Then I feel outside of it.

I think of all the friends I have.

I think of the last moments I had with them.

Watching myself…watching them…watching us.

Wondering if I can ever actually feel a memory.

I believe in that moment I was with them. I was there. But I don’t connect to it.

I don’t exist with myself.

My connections just aren’t connecting.

My mind is wrong

I think about the fact I exist and feel fear.

It is deep. A liquid flows through me and connects every moment to it.

Yet it takes me out of it.

It disconnects me from life.

Then I try to think back on it and disconnect even more.

Then I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want that feeling.

THIS feeling.

Then the human mind thinks of forever.

Ever this way.

Some people then take it away. They finally fully disconnect.

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