Fast Food and Suicide Experiment day 34

Greetings Followers,

I do apologize for the temporary offshoot into life bubbles. They were blowing and I got caught in one but then a tree popped me so I’m back now. In this bubble time there wasn’t much sugar to be had, except for coconut sugar and who can count that? Otherwise little animals popped in and offered up themselves so I’ve had the pork loin roast with some eggplant pepper spread and then the whole eggs and broccoli dipped in soup lunch. Upon returning these little pigs keep offering themselves up so I think I’ll take about four more servings of them. Today I soaked them in wine and heavy cream because it was the best way for them to taste. Really it was honoring their death. Hope all is well in your mind.

Sincerely,

Ainsley

P.S. In the time apart I was finally able to think of new things rather than just you. Even working on Liquid Fantasies.

Separation of Mind and Body Noticement so Far
The Feels of “No Sugar” for Two Days

Okay, so I haven’t entered ketosis yet. I know because there has been no keto flu, which happens when your body switches energy sources (from glucose to fat). Not sure what’s keeping me out of it but there haven’t been any suicidal thoughts the last two days or really any mood swings either way. I’ve been off fruit except for cherries so those were really the only up and down moments my mind had access to.

There was an ability to connect to existential crisis but that was through provocation rather than a natural occurrence. Without provocation, I have not experienced social anxiety, suicidal or depressive thoughts. Admittedly there have been no life-altering negative changes so I haven’t had much to feel negative about.

Oh except for living in Lubbock, but that’s acceptable for now. Ish. Something interesting has happened though. Boredom. After using that word as a feeling I analyzed it and realized it was a desire to progress life. My mind didn’t like the stagnant moment of waiting to come here and blog (the free parking does not begin until 5:30 and I already got a ticket for sticking in the 30-minute spot too long). That’s fucking exciting. My mind wanted life progression and was bothered by not getting to. An opposition of suicidal desires.

Also for some reason, I keep not wearing makeup. Before it was a must wear thing, especially when in fast food mind/body. I did it constantly, even sneaking powder in elevators, to cover myself up. Now I went to a coffee shop hours ago with no makeup then even came here without it. The lack of desire to cover myself up. Primal tinkerings? Realization my face was not at prime reproducing beauty vs now when it must be shown off to the human kingdom?

Also, I have a recipe for you: 

Recipe: meat with heavy cream, wine, bacon and Trader Joe’s eggplant garlic pepper spread. A burst of deep flavors. Initial bright hum with stimulation of brightly fierce peppers that dips into savory creamy wine tastes to envelop the tastes together.

Pop-Tart Battle Update



Also this afternoon there was one Pop-Tart left in the package and I decided to challenge my mind with it and when I took it out of the package I actually felt addiction tingle. A scorgy lacing through my skin tingling it up…we can’t resist. My mouth waters as it stares with ravenous intent. Put me in you it begs…I beg? Then my mind says to smash it…to take owning back. I own me. I want to lick it though. Up that silky shine as it glistens…does it even tap into that desire?


Then I actually ate three bites and rejected it. There was a calming and acceptance of the mind-tingling out addiction, but my mind has control back and we tossed it in the trash we did.

I then made keto Pop-Tarts

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