So last night I arrived for D&D with a hunger and Randy offered up his bacon. Brotherly love came out in bacon grease and my tongue soaked up the yummy drippings. I got the idea for using bacon grease for chocolate from Craig and have had no fear of drinking it straight ever since. Bacon grease and I just bonded and once you go bacon you never go black. Yesterday I did add a tablespoon of cocoa powder though. It was amazesenses for hours and I had no social anxiety at playing my bard…except for a few songs that happened in my head but not aloud….but I did sing like three and developed a character voice.
About…three hours after bacon my stomach did the acid churn. It literally feels like a bubbly cauldron is taking your insides and boiling them up…then churning them. Abbey and I both had this when we were younger and she still does but mine had mostly gone away. This probably happened from being vegetarian or minimal meat to taking in so much fat from an animal so quickly. The body is very adaptable but sometimes you can feel those adaptations…rawr evolution delays.
Otherwise, I’ve gained this obsession for my mini casserole dish. It is perfect for one and I swear they didn’t pay me to tell you about it (what food design company would sponsor a suicide blog dealing with food?)
The fruit was from this morning and that…was a bit much on the sugar heart because mine feels a bit heavier than usual right now. Also, I’m integrating some hippy and wordgasming over yoga. This morning I was a bit off…last night there were ideas flowing so hard and neurotingly that I couldn’t sleep and was lost in ideas for this blog, videos, voice recording Animal (a hard task to go back on…I was……it’s hard to read the pain of your past self aloud is all) and thoughts of today where I go watch Jurassic World with Toni who I’m grondling in affection for (growing and bonding with fondling). She’s a coo kid, and then even have plans to meet up with a certain fellow after. So this morning should have been a lovely awakening but instead, I felt mentally clenched. My body was apparently the clenched holder of these thoughts because I stretched and doggie styled pose and did some deep stretches of inner yogi channeling then felt mentally more free.
In general, I’ve been avoiding too much yoga or meditating, and when I say too much it’s about twice a week fifteen minutes of yoga if that compared to four times a week at about thirty minutes. I’m really trying to get out other variables than food but I do have a mind inside this body.
What I plan to do
is implicate complete self-control over thoughts, music, readings, and food to discount as many variables as possible. This week I’ll collect baseline data by having the exact same food (what you see above) every single day. There won’t be any control over outside influence and I’ll document all outside influence.
Then next week…
I’ll take two or three days off work with complete control over what I think and all that is processed by me while eating that same food and see what happens. Then have the outside variables for the rest of the week because I do have to work.
Then the week after that
I’ll have the same food and negative thoughts. I’ll think of existence and all the issues I have in life which will be documented there.
Other than that here’s a few videos on all that has happened so far: